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When Old Wounds Speak Loudly Ever had one of those moments where your reaction felt way bigger than the situation called for? Maybe someone didn’t text back fast enough. Maybe your partner seemed distracted. Maybe a friend canceled plans. And suddenly—before you even understand why—you feel panicked, angry, ashamed, or completely unglued. We often call these moments “overreactions”. But I don’t love that word. Because what I’ve seen again and again—in the therapy room and in life—is this: Sometimes your overreaction is really an old wound saying: “Please don’t leave me.” It’s the child part of you that learned to scan for danger. The part that felt abandoned, unseen, or not enough. The part that still lives in your body and nervous system, even if you’re decades older now. And when something in the present echoes that past pain, it doesn’t just tap you on the shoulder. It roars. It hijacks your emotional response, trying desperately to protect you from reliving something unbearable. In therapy, we learn to listen to that voice instead of shaming it. We learn to get curious instead of self-critical. To ask: What is this feeling protecting me from? What memory or fear is being stirred? What part of me needs reassurance right now, not rejection? When we can do that—when we pause to listen instead of pushing the feeling away—we begin to heal the wound instead of reenacting it. It’s powerful work. Sometimes painful. But always worth it. You are not too much. Your emotions are not the problem. They are messengers—longing to be understood, not silenced. Warmly, Mirel What if the most vulnerable thing isn’t needing love—but offering it? https://goldsteintherapy.com/why-giving-love-can-feel-harder-than-receiving-it/ |
Mirel Goldstein, MS, MA, LPC is an award-winning, licensed therapist with 20+ years of clinical experience and is a published author.
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