Some of us find ourselves right in the middle of a transition at this time. Perhaps it’s the shift after the Jewish holidays have ended as we enter the beginning of the fall and winter stretch, or perhaps it’s a shift in a season, a perspective, or a role.

Transitions are a constant rhythm in life, yet so many of us struggle to navigate them. If you have a sensitive nature, which so often goes hand in hand with creativity and a lively imagination, transitions can feel especially jarring. But for all of us, shifting gears or stepping from one space into another tends to be a challenge.

We tend to need a bridge between what we are leaving behind and what we are entering into. And when that bridge is hard to find or build, we can feel lost in the space between.

Anticipatory Anxiety and the Unwritten Future

Have you ever noticed what happens when an experience or a period of time is nearing its end? Long before we actually arrive at the next stage, our minds start racing ahead, trying to imagine what it will feel like, how it will look, or simply wishing for it to be over.

This forward momentum often leads to anticipatory anxiety. Because we aren't actually in the new situation yet, we don't really know how it will feel or how we will cope with it. And so our imaginations may try to fill in the missing details.

Here are some examples of transitions, big and small, that I can think of:

• When holiday seasons end: Moving from the end of a holiday period back into the daily "grind" (or from being together with family to returning to our separate lives)
• Daily micro-transitions: Shifting from sleep to wakefulness, getting out of bed to face a new day, or moving from being together with someone you love to missing them when you are apart.
• Life stages and waiting periods: Graduating high school and stepping into the unknown next chapter, or waiting to have a baby during pregnancy when you are carrying new life but haven't held your child yet.
• Work and home: Navigating the end of a break before returning to classes or work, or simply processing a long day on the commute home.

One Foot In, One Foot Out

Every transition, no matter how small, involves a separation. There is always a door closing, something we are saying goodbye to—even if it is just saying goodbye to last night's restful sleep or saying goodbye to the day as we prepare for bed.

The hardest transitions occur when the change involves a transitional state within ourselves. You are transforming, yet you haven't fully mastered or embodied the new space you are trying to enter. At the same time, you have one foot out the door of your old space or your old self.

This leaves you standing in the in-between:

• You are not really fully in one place or the other.
• You have one foot in the old and one foot in the new.
• You are in that confusing space where you feel like you aren't really anywhere at all.

That in-between space can feel empty and scary. All of us cope with or try to avoid that emptiness in different ways. We may fill the space with our imaginations, overthinking every possible outcome. We may keep super busy, running continuously to avoid having to feel. Or we may rush into "future mode", asking "what's next?" before we have ever processed goodbyes, felt our grief, or internalized and held onto the meaningful parts of what came before.

Softening the Shift: How to Navigate the In-Between

"Before and after" follows us throughout our entire lives. We are constantly in a rhythm of movement from one space to another—some shifts are jarring and obvious, while others are subtle and quiet.

When you find yourself worn out, exhausted, or processing where you were before, you need ways to soften the transition:

1. Create simple rituals of comfort: Just as you might come home from a long day at work and change into comfortable clothing or sip a hot drink to ease the boundary between work and home, find small ways to soften larger life shifts. Give yourself a buffer zone rather than forcing an immediate gear switch.
2. Be extra gentle with yourself: Acknowledge that shifting states requires real energy. Give yourself extra time to adjust without expecting instant mastery of your new role or state.
3. Hold onto positive memories: You don't have to leave everything behind when a door closes. Take the time to hold onto and internalize the positive memories and lessons of what you just experienced.
4. Trust your capacity to cope: It is completely natural to feel fear when facing the unknown. Remind yourself that even if you don't know exactly what the future will look like, you will be able to cope with it when you get there.
5. Offer yourself soothing and comfort: When feelings of dread or overwhelm arise—whether returning to work after a break or stepping into a new life chapter—provide yourself with the comfort you need.

If transitions feel hard for you, I just wanted you to know that it's normal to feel that way.

Wishing you all a great week-