Mirel Goldstein, MS, MA, LPC is an award-winning, licensed therapist with 24 years of clinical experience and is a published author.
Keeping our energy supply stable
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Energy is something we all have to replenish, some of us more often than others. The good thing about our energy levels is that they are replenishable; a renewable resource (unlike time, where once it goes, we lose it forever). Highly sensitive people tend to need to restore their energy supply after being with other people because their nervous systems register so many of the emotions and vibes of the people around them, and because too much stimulation can be overwhelming. I remember once working with a woman who seemed withdrawn and reserved, as if she wasn't feeling much at all in her relationships, only to learn that she in fact felt things so deeply when she was with others that she had to turn her emotions off in order to cope with their intensity. Extroverts tend to feel their energy being replenished when they spend time with people, or in stimulating environments or situations. Introverts tend to find those same situations draining, even though they can be fun or enjoyable in manageable doses, and need to refuel their energy supplies while alone. Depending on the messaging one got in childhood, from their parents, their peers, and society, an introvert or an extrovert may feel deficient- with introverts feeling low on energy, not as sociable as others, unable to assert themselves as loudly as their extroverted counterparts, and under-recognized, while extroverts sometimes feel like "too much" or "too loud" for the people around them (including their parents). I had an introverted client who was married to an extroverted spouse, and she felt guilty that she couldn't meet her partner's need to go out and socialize on a regular basis. I also had an extroverted client who felt ashamed of his need for constant stimulation and his "too muchness" for his parents. It's all relative. We can't change our temperaments, but the more we work with ourselves and the nature we have, the more we'll be able to pace ourselves in ways that keep our energy levels even and steady. In addition to time alone or time with others, there are other things that refuel us as well- it might be taking a walk or a run, a nap, or a shower; going out with friends, or reading a book...figure out what works for you and make sure to build it into your schedule. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, as they say...and the more you build in energy-restoring activities and time, the more you'll be able to accomplish in the long run- |
Goldstein Therapy
Mirel Goldstein, MS, MA, LPC is an award-winning, licensed therapist with 24 years of clinical experience and is a published author.
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